Getting free from compulsive sins (Part 2)– “Walk in the Light”
I believe the second key to getting free from compulsive sin is “walking in the light”. This is practicing a lifestyle of transparency with your thoughts and emotions to God and trusted friends.
When we sin, it is right that we feel shame and guilt – we’ve done something we ought not to. But that’s not the main story of our lives – we’re “in process”, pressing into God, wanting to get free.
The danger is that shame can enforce the bondage of sin through isolation. Condemnation (hopeless guilt) can be a black emotional cloud perpetually hanging over your heart, weighing you down with depressing thoughts, opposing every step you take towards freedom.
Here’s the key issue: Sin’s power cannot be broken over your life while your heart is oppressed under a cloud of fear, shame and condemnation.
The warm, bright light of God’s love and favor is shining on you because of the Cross – but shame and condemnation keep you from receiving it’s cleansing, life-giving power. A lifestyle of transparency is what it takes to clear away this cloud, to free you to respond to God’s sanctifying activity with hopeful, joyful anticipation.
Walk in the Light: Break the power of shame & condemnation
In 1 John 1:5-2:1 John outlines how sanctification works. The central promise is summarized in v6:
“..if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin.”
This amazing promise of cleansing is conditional – it is a product of transparency -- exposing our real inner struggles to God and trusted friends.
This cleansing is not just a reference to ongoing forgiveness of sins – this is a reference to getting free from sinful patterns of thinking and living (see 1 John 2:1).
There are two aspects to this transparency -- walking in the light before God and before trusted friends.
Walking in the light : “Get ugly with God”
John describes our salvation using another “light” analogy – our salvation was us “coming to the light” (John 3:19-21). We came to love and trust in Christ because we saw his light (moral beauty and perfection) and were drawn to it. If we continue in this light, God promises to cleanse us of sin’s dominating power.
Do you see it? No matter how much you lust after or enjoy your sin, because you are a child of God, you really do love light more than darkness. It is in your nature – your new, regenerated inner person – to want to live & bask under God’s beautiful, warm, love-filled light and presence.
We are by nature children of the light, and that’s where we are the happiest.Remember when Adam sinned? He felt enormous shame. His response was to hide from God (& from Eve!).
God through the Cross invites us back into walking with him intimately. Do you really believe that the bloody Cross of Jesus fully restores us to intimacy with God? IT DOES!
Even when we’ve sinned and in bondage to sin, God looks with great pleasure and favor on us because of the depth of Christ’s suffering on our behalf. So we don’t need to deny our sin – we can quickly confess it and be reconnected to God.
The Cross allows us be transparent and maintain intimacy even during our struggles with compulsive sin. Why? Because we need this deep intimacy with God in order to get free.
Transparency with God means being 100% real with him in regard to sin. I use this phrase: “getting ugly with God”. Expose every lust, impure motive, desire for revenge, hatred for specific people, envy & jealousy, disappointment with God and even unwillingness to forgive – freely and explicitly to God. Then trust that the Cross covers your sin and restores you to pristine righteousness and perfect intimacy.
When in the throes of temptation, don’t hide! Instead, get ugly: ”This is exactly how I feel, and this is what I want to do right now”. He sees it already! All you are doing is exposing it to his light where it can be killed. Sinful desires grow in darkness and die in the light.
God surely sees our hidden sin, but his cleansing can only come when you freely expose your dirt to him. Confess even the sins you are unwilling to repent of. Yes, you can do that!
At first, this practice can feel very wrong – because we have a culture of “in God’s presence, be real nice”. But David knew better (Psalm 32:5; Psalm 51:4) and he’s a great model of “coming clean”.
Sin only grows in power when it’s hidden – but God will cover & cleanse sin that’s exposed. When you fall, run into the light and get naked before God. Don’t run away and hide your shame behind “fig leaves”. Pretense and masks oppose intimacy and block the cleansing power of God’s light.
Over time, this practice of “radical exposure” will start to break the power of “hidden” sin – along with the oppressive shame and condemnation it produces.
Walking in the light : “Get real with friends”
“If people really knew all the evil thoughts you have and what you do in secret…”. All of us have had this thought whispered in our minds at one time or another.
When struggling with compulsive sin, shame and guilt collude to keep us from real, transparent relationships. We are afraid to be authentic and “fully known” because we think our weakness and brokenness will be seen and despised.
The traditional “church atmosphere” does not help – promoting insincere smiles and shallow bonhomie. Every one “fakes it”, it seems, and judgment and “shaming” is commonplace.
PASTORS: Does the way we talk about sin (if we do at all!) give people the confidence to share their brokenness or hide it? Or do we just want to people to come, sing, give, listen and leave – because we have no time for real, messy people?
When we are not fully known we cannot truly receive love. If someone loves on us – we immediately think “If they really knew the real me, the inner pain and sin and struggle and failure I carry – they would not love me this way”. So we hide ourselves. Since we are not truly known, we cannot truly receive love.
Intimacy is risky, but life-giving. Take a risk, and find trustworthy friends who you can be real with. Form confidential, covenant relationships with them – and open up completely. Be known and know them – walk in the light with them – it is a necessary part of getting free and staying free.
It is emotionally & spiritually liberating to share every detail of every shameful, painful issue in my life with my covenant friends (& spouse). You see, I got the dirt on them and they on me. The shared love (& humor) is raw and real and satisfying. No pretense or posturing or plastic fakery. I am known and loved for who I really am.
When you get real with friends, you realize they are just like you with struggles and insecurities – and your heart embraces compassion, not judgment. When friends see you at your weakest & worst and instead of despising you, speak truth and uplift your spirit, it is an awesome, life-giving thing! This is true spiritual fellowship.
They see you as you really are – weak, yes — but they also see God’s powerful grace working in you and can speak hope. We get to partake in the restoring activity of God in each other – and the love, affirmation and encouragement received from these deep friendships have tremendous impact on our inner life.
God, through the Cross, allows us to return to Eden – not perfect relationships, but perfectly transparent relationships with God and friends. We live “naked and unashamed” under God’s light and before each other even in the midst of our sin and struggles.
God’s unshakeable promise
These are not just good ideas – this is how God designed us to break free from sin’s dominating power. It is a promise from God’s unshakeable word: “…If we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus his Son cleanses us from all sin”.
Get it? Intimacy (with God and friends) breaks the power of sin – and dissipates shame and condemnation.
